The Focus

The eyes are the body’s lenses. Some of us, need a long range lens but are stuck with short range lenses, so we attach other things to our eyes to achieve our goal. Sometimes, we zone out and our vision blurs, it then takes us a while to really focus. How do you then refocus your eyes? One would say you simply, rest them, take a breather, close your eyes and relax. If only it were like that for life.

Perhaps these once in a blue moon posts are what my blog is supposed to be. I keep thinking to myself, am I forcing myself to make my blog into something…it’s just not supposed to be? I use to read all these blog tutorials and guidelines to having “the perfect blog”, but I would always feel, overwhelmed. I just did no have the energy to do that.

The idea of posting every day, or even twice a week, though  tempting, is just not for me. I would draft hundreds of posts, but never publish them because they never stood for what I believed in, what I wanted. In the hundreds of hours of research I had done to create the perfect blog, I had realised that I had lost focus, on why I started blogging in the first place.

Life has not exactly been the ray of sunshine I wanted to be in 2016. Between juggling managing my money, many various groups, a job I have not felt motivated in for a long time now and a social life, I’ve found myself constantly running into walls.

I had moved from the anticipation of a new adventure each day to just trying to get through the days. The months became shorter to me, and suddenly I was thrust into midyear. I became disconnected.

I immediately decided that I was in desperate need of a soul and mind cleansing; so I slept. I slept from sun up to sun down to sun up. I shut off my mind and entered a world of fantasy, where dreams are a reality.  I distressed. I relaxed.

Then I didn’t sleep at all, I kept going fueled by coffee, green tea and half cups of monster. I became a restless determined machine, pushing myself to accomplish way too many tasks.

Then I regrouped. I went through and up and down roller coaster. The on a Monday night, in a hammock in the country side, I let my mind wander, and in that moment, I realised that I had for a very long time forgotten what I wanted.

So what do you do, when you’ve wandered off the path you wanted to take and you end up somewhere you just shouldn’t be? You get up, observe your surrounding and find your way back to the path you were meant to take. It may take you a few minutes, a couple hours, days or even months. But you never stop trying to succeed, you never stop trying to make everything better again.

And that’s exactly what I’m doing.




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