Space

What are the odds that as I’m writing this a sudden down pour of rain started and I’m messaging a new friend I made.

I have gone  AWOL…on what’s app and other messaging media. I have muted groups, not responded to facebook messages, ignored what’s app messages. I have shut everyone that I don’t interact on a day to day, face to face basis O-F-F.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, and to the same people too.

I feel like for some of my ‘friendships’, I have relied too much on others for my own happiness and self validation. I have been suffocated by my need to be appreciated. It has been holding me back. To me these friendships have become so one sided that it feels like I’m the only one trying desperately to keep it alive. In one particular group, only one person has reached out to me to see if I was okay. One.

I realised that I needed some ‘character development’ and I wasn’t going to get that if I was so dependent on others. At first it was hard, I found myself still reading conversations just to see if they would notice. Little by little I stopped doing that. I even found myself putting down my phone completely and I have been focusing more on school, my job, and different opportunities being presented to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate and value their friendship over the years, as well as the memories we share. However, I also need to focus on my needs. I need to focus on me and what makes me happy and healthy.

Just because you need space , doesn’t mean you don’t love that person any more. It just means, you need space. Sometimes we need to take caution about how we treat other and how others treat us. Never allow yourself to continue into a situation that doesn’t seem right to you. Communication is also important, Talk about how you feel to the right people who are willing to listen and give you constructive advise.

I have unmuted one group after speaking to a good friend of mine. Any step forward is a good step.

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